In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
