I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
