called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
