thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
