All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
