That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
