We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
