Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he fucked my hip out of place.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
