I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
