I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
