I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
