He asked me if I "almost moaned"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
