I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
