why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
