smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
id be glad to
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
