The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
