Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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