Got a toothbrush?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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