it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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