don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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