At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
