yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Someone signed my nipple.
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