if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
