Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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