When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
