the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
