Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
