She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
