Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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