i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
