All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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