Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Randomize
