I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
