im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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