i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Come share oat with me in your robe
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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