We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
