Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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