If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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