You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
