i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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