If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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