Walk of Shame. In a state park.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
