this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
