I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
