If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
