Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
