You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
