Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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