I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
bring money and cleavage
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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