I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
